


Without You

by orphan_account



Category: Lord of the Rings - Fandom, The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
Genre: Angst, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5374538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Legolas returns to Mirkwood after the the battle of the Ring, relationships are torn apart and sadness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Without You, the Earth Turns

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first work so... Please don't be too harsh! But comments are always welcome! And kudos will probably make my day!

Legolas pushed the heavy doors open, walking into the night air. He sat on the spacious, white balcony, overlooking the kingdom of Minas Tirith. But, as magnificent as the the sight of the city was, he was looking at the stars. Suddenly, the glittering, glowing orbs in the navy sky made him feel sick. He clutched onto one of the posts to keep himself from dizzying over as remembered all the times he used to watch the stars in the night with his father when he was young, and now, after not seeing Thranduil for over a few decades, he missed him terribly.

"Are you all right, Mellon?" a voice, soft and deep asked.

Legolas turned, a trembling smile on his lips. "Of course, Aragorn."

"Why did you leave the party?" the ranger asked, walking to stand beside the Elf. 

"I..." The prince paused. "Needed to breathe some night air."

Aragorn hummed, looking skeptical before turning his gaze to the sky.

"Are you all right, my lord?"

"Do not call me that, Legolas," he sighed, taking off his crown and placing it near where the Elf sat.

"Tired of being king already? You were only coronated--"

"Today, I know," Aragorn looked at Legolas. "But after journeying, wandering, fighting for so many years...I wish to return to my home."

Legolas' blue eyes widened.

"That is what you desire as well, is it not?"

Legolas, after a pregnant pause of silence in the air, said, "Yes."

"Then go home, Mellon," Aragorn put a hand on his shoulder. "Return to Mirkwood while you can."

After a few moments of contemplation, he nodded. He smiled at Aragorn before walking away. 

The king sighed, turning back to the stars before he felt arms encircle him tightly and a cheek lean against his shoulder.

"Though I will be fulfilling my heart's desire, I shall miss you, my dear friend," Legolas whispered.

Aragorn gently wound his arms around Legolas' embracing ones. "We will not be parted forever, Legolas. I will see you again soon."

The Elf pulled away, smiling, before disappearing into the night, running as fast as he possibly could.

He couldn't help it; he was going home.


	2. The Sun Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas, fearing his father's wrath, remembers and is comforted by one of his memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! Not really much to say; just hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> By the way, Legolas' age is equivalent to a 4 year old human in his memory.

As Legolas walked through the dark woods, he couldn't help the nervous feeling churning in his stomach. True, he was excited and exuberant at the thought of seeing his father and his home once more, but would those two accept him openly and happily, after what he'd done?

If defending Tauriel, who raised a weapon against the king in treason, was bad enough, abandoning his duties and posts without so much as a simple note had to have gained him a severe penalty.

He sighed, stopping at a small stream. Gathering some of the cool water in his hands, he splashed it onto his face, smiling in satisfaction as he refreshed himself.

He paused when he saw tiny fish swim at the bottom of the water. As Legolas watched them with a childish fascination, a memory came rushing back to him, that provided him comfort and peace.

Thranduil had left the castle one day and disappeared into Mirkwood, frustrated from his dealings with the Master of Laketown. Legolas had been small, and he watched as his father walked into the dark forest. Silently, he had stepped out and began following the older Elf, silent and swift as a baby deer.

He paused and ran behind a tree when he saw his father halt in his movements. The Elvenking had stopped at a hot spring and, without further ado, began stripping himself of his grey and scarlet robes and fine jewelry, until he was left in nothing but the pale skin of his body. He slipped into the water, sighing as the tension melted out of his fëa. 

Legolas quietly snuck out and, not being one to miss out on an opportunity to play a trick, picked up a handful of dirt, ready to drop it on his father.

"Do not even dare, ion-nin," Thranduil sighed, scaring the younger Elf into releasing the dirt.

"Oh Ada," the young elfling sighed, collapsing into the grass. "You always sense me!"

Thranduil turned, smiling. He lifted his slender hand out of the water, holding it out to him. "Come join me, my treasure."

Legolas smiled, quickly discarding his silk, cerulean tunic before taking his father's hand. He sunk into the water beside Thranduil, smiling in awe when he looked out into the distance and realized the glowing, baby fish in the dark depths of the water.

"Ada, 's so pretty!" he giggled, resting against the Elvenking's side.

"I know, my love," whispered Thranduil, wrapping a strong arm around the Prince.

Legolas wandered deeper into the water, following a small school of the fish. As he watched them swim, he saw a shining object mostly hidden by the dirt.

Bending over, he picked it up, gasping when he realized what it was.

Unfortunately, Legolas spun around to show the arrowhead to his father, his arm extended at full length and the sharp tip pointed outwards. 

Suddenly, the small, sharp piece of metal was embedded in the Elvenking's pale skin.

Perhaps it was the way Thranduil gasped sharply or the way he shakily took hold of the young Elf's wrist and pulled the arrowhead out of his flesh. Or maybe it was the way blood began trickling down the Elvenking's arm as he held the gaping wound as tightly as he could, or the grimace of pain contorting his beautiful features.

Whatever it was, it had Legolas sobbing, dropping the weapon into the water before burying his face in his hands.

"Ad-Ada, I'm sorry," Legolas cried, shaking. 

He didn't register what was happening outside of his raging world of sorrow and regret. Vaguely, he remembered his father picking him up with his uninjured arm and wrapping his long robes around both of them. As Thranduil carried him to the castle, the elfling heard him whispering:

"It's alright, my love. Do not weep."

"I hurt you, Ada!" Legolas sobbed, hiding his face in Thranduil's pale neck.

"And I forgive you, ion-nin," Thranduil replied, stroking his back soothingly. "I will always forgive you, my love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hopefully, the next chapter will be a little longer or at least the same amount! Please leave kudos and/or comment..   
> I love feedback. It motivates me.


	3. The Moon Glows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas returns home.
> 
> It's not what he expected at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took awhile!  
> I was on vacation for a few days so... It was kinda hard to find time to write!! But here it is! Enjoy it! 
> 
> And please, if you have a chance, leave some kudos and/or comments! Thank you!

Before he knew it, Legolas was standing at the gates of the castle, facing the shocked looks of the guards.

"Prince Legolas!" one gasped as the other stood still as a stone, mouth agape and eyes disbelieving.

"Vedui' (greetings)," Legolas hailed.

"We did not expect you, your Highness," the guard said with a grimace. "I'm afraid we did not prepare a welcoming feast for you."

"It is alright," Legolas nodded. "Now if you excuse me, I will be finding my father."

Legolas paused at the shared, worried look between the two Elves. "What troubles you?"

"Umm, nothing, my Prince!" the once silent guard answered hurriedly. "We are, umm, simply overjoyed at the sight of your return!"

Legolas looked them over suspiciously before slowly walking away, his heart starting to sink. Had his father left to sail for the Grey Havens?

He began walking to his father's throne room, his brow furrowed. 

"My lord!!" a servant, who happened to be passing the throne room at the same time as Legolas, stuttered, staring at him with wide, amber eyes of shock and something akin to sadness.

"Hello," Legolas acknowledged, taking a look at the empty room. "Where is my father?"

The servant looked about nervously before whispering, "His chambers, your majesty."

The relief that Thranduil had not sailed away was short lived. The Elvenking rarely spent time in his own room. He was always busy; continuously and relentlessly working to make Mirkwood a greater kingdom. "His chambers?" Legolas repeated, the worry in him starting to awaken fully.

"Yes," the servant nodded. "Perhaps you are not too late!" 

"Late? What do you mean?"

Just realizing what he said, the servant began stuttering something nonsensical. But Legolas did not stay to hear it.

The blood drained from his face, and he ran, not hearing the calls for him. Deafening sounds pounded in his ears as he neared his father's chambers. The dread had increased tenfold when he nearly ran into Galion, who stepped out of his father's chambers, looking unusually solemn.

"Galion!" he cried, crashing into the older elf's chest. "Where is my father?!? Has he--"

The butler, after recovering from his initial shock, grabbed the Elf's forearms, pushing him back to look into his crystal eyes.

"My lord," Galion began slowly, pausing, before sighing, a defeated look on his face catching the Elf's attention. "There is no easy way to tell you this, but your father..."

"Yes?" Legolas prompted, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

"Your father is sick, my prince."

"But Elves are not prey to sickness!" he cried, shrugging Galion's grip on his arms off of him. "We cannot be sick unless....."

Galion, hesitant for a moment, wrapped his arms around the young Elf, who began to cry.

"Galion," Legolas sobbed, trying desperately to stop acting like an Elfling. "He cannot be.... He cannot!"

"I'm sorry, my lord," the butler apologized softly, holding him tighter. "I wish it wasn't so as well."

Legolas suddenly ripped himself away from Galion, eyes ablaze with anger and sadness. "Why did I not receive any message telling me this?!?"

The butler said nothing for a moment and looked to his feet. Legolas groaned in frustration, pushing past him and opening the door to Thranduil's chambers.

"Your father did not wish it," stopped him.

Legolas turned, a disbelieving look on his face.

Galion stared at the prince sadly. "The King has been sick ever since you left, my lord."

Legolas felt as if he was beginning to sink, in guilt or in melancholy he didn't know. "You mean...?"

"He barely ate or slept," Galion continued, looking to the heavy doors of Thranduil's chambers. "He locked himself away in his chambers when he heard of your joining of fellowship of the ring."

Legolas looked down, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"He is sick with worry and heartache, and has been for all these years, my lord," the butler sighed. "It is a miracle he has survived this long."

Galion paused, walking toward Legolas and putting a hand on his shoulder. "He is..he is very close to..."

Legolas opened his mouth, his body trembling with fear of what he was about to say. "Fading?"

Galion nodded. 

All of the vibrant color, the beautiful joy and exuberance of being home crashed around Legolas. He covered his mouth when he could not find the words and sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs to hide*


	4. The River Flows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas knew that things always go bad. Just...not this bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Careful as you proceed.
> 
> There.
> 
> You were warned.

Legolas quietly pried open the heavy oak doors of his father's chambers, trying in vain to keep his sad hiccuping at bay.

He entered, closing the doors behind him. The room was warm, the source of it was a fire, dancing and crackling in the fireplace. A warm, golden light lit the otherwise dark room, enveloping the still figure of his father on the large bed.

The prince silently padded across the room, avoiding his reflection in the large mirror he passed. He didn't need to see how utterly disarrayed and destroyed he looked.

After all, he already felt that way.

He quietly sat beside Thranduil and gazed down at him. The once healthy and vibrant Elvenking was now pale, his face extremely thin and more bony than usual. He was clad in a simple, thin, black robe, the clothes unable to hide how thin he was. Tears tracks, still wet, trailed down his cheeks.

Legolas, unused to seeing his father so...vulnerable, couldn't help but sob. He bent and tried to kiss away the King's tears, just as he used to do for Legolas when he was an Elfling. But, as he reverently pressed his lips against his father's cold skin, the kisses left his own tears in its wake. 

"Valar, I am sorry, Ada," Legolas cried softly. "I am so sorry."

"Leave me."

Legolas sat up abruptly, looking down at his very awake father. Thranduil's face, if even possible, paled more, his cerulean eyes wide and glassy.

"Ada--"

"Leave, demon!" Thranduil cried, sitting up suddenly with great effort. He gave out a loud, pained sound, sounding like a wounded animal, startling Legolas out of his wits. Legolas quickly jumped off the bed as the Elvenking looked up at the ceiling, tears anew and trailing down his hollow cheeks. "Why?!? Why do you torment me so?"

"It is I, Ada," Legolas tried, frozen as Thranduil's gaze turned on him, anger and fury swirling in the blue orbs of his eyes.

"I have dealt with you long enough!" Thranduil yelled, grabbing his wine glass on his bedside table and throwing it at his son, the latter barely dodging the object. "Long have you tortured me, played with my mind, tricked me into believing that my son had finally returned! But no longer!" With the last words, Thranduil drew a sword out from under his bed.

Before Legolas could protest, Thranduil began swinging his sword in the air like a mad man, trying to slice the younger Elf open.

"It is I! I am Legolas--" the prince cried as he dodged the blade. 

"I have heard all of your lies, demon!"

Legolas ran into the far corner of the room, panting slightly. 

"Leave!" Thranduil commanded, voice rough and full of pain. "I will not stand for this!

"I won't leave you!" the prince shouted, attempting to cover his fear and sadness with force.

Thranduil stared at Legolas, face a portrait of the agony and distress suffered over the long years.

"Please," Legolas whimpered, an Elfling once again, slowly stepping toward the seemingly frozen Thranduil. "Let me help you, Ada. You can escape this.."

After a few moments of silence, Thranduil finally spoke.

"Very well," the Elvenking said softly, lifting the sword to his chest.

"No!" Legolas screamed, dashing towards his father. 

It seemed as if time had slowed as he ran. He watched his father close his eyes, twin tears slipping from them as he pressed the blade into his chest with a gasp. 

Legolas was by Thranduil's side before the sword went in halfway, and he pulled it out, chanting a mantra of "No, no, no," his voice raising in hysteria as he watched the King's eyes slip closed.

"Ada!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cries* WHAT AM I DOING TO MY BABIES?!?
> 
> Please leave comments, kudos, or anything!


	5. The Stars Gleam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas cries.
> 
> A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please enjoy.

'How could I have let this happen?'

Legolas sat, his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

No, he couldn't cry. All of his tears had been spent, and he was tired, so utterly tired, of crying, of thinking, even of feeling.

At the sound of a door opening, Legolas lifted his head up. Elrond exited Thranduil's room, and the Prince quickly stood up. 

"How is he?"

"I was able to heal his wound," Elrond replied before pausing, a grim look contorting his features.

Legolas feared to ask, or rather, feared the answer he'd receive, but he had to know. "And?" 

"He was already fading from the sickness, my Prince," Elrond sighed. "His wound put more un-needed stress on his body. I fear.."

"What?" Legolas asked, failing to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

Elrond looked at him, sympathy clouding his eyes. "I fear that he will not live throughout the fortnight."

Legolas inhaled sharply. 

No, he wouldn't cry.

"Thank you for coming to see him, Lord Elrond," he said shakily, nodding to dismiss him. "I hope to see you in the nearby future."

The healer nodded, bowing slightly before walking away.

Legolas let out a tremulous breath, turning to the doors. Steeling himself, he opened them and entered into the room for a second time that day.

"Ada?" he whispered, walking across the room and stopping at the foot of Thranduil's bed.

The Elvenking sat, staring through his son. It was as if no one stood before him. And it was unnerving but Legolas shrugged it off.

'Perhaps he is tired,' the Prince thought to himself.

He cautiously walked over to sit on the edge of the bed beside his father. Once seated, he glanced at Thranduil, deflating when he realized that Thranduil's gaze was still turned to where he was previously standing.

"Ada," he called, hesitant, before wrapping his arms loosely around Thranduil's slim waist. "Please hear me, Ada."

Legolas leaned his forehead against his father's bicep, sighing when Thranduil didn't respond.

He opened his mouth, then closed it and thought, wondering what to say, opened it again, then closed it.

He felt as if the approaching words were choking him.

When he finally found his words once more, he uttered, voice small and croaky,

"I'm sorry."

At that moment, all of his pre-planned apologies and pre-arranged speeches begging for forgiveness flew out of the window. 

Now he was just speaking from his heart.

"I'm sorry for abandoning you," Legolas said shakily, suddenly wanting to cry again. "I'm sorry for not even bidding you goodbye before I left."

The Prince looked up at Thranduil, who seemed motionless and unaffected by his words.

"Ada, I'm sorry for...for-" he paused, swallowing the incredibly large lump in his throat, "for hurting you."

It seemed as if the words suddenly hit Legolas with realization. Although he always knew it in the back of his mind, he realized it.

He hurt his father.

The same person who used to play with him no matter how busy he was, who used to kiss his bruises and scraped knees, who would allow him to sleep in the same bed when he had nightmares in the middle of the night, hold him for hours on end when his heart ached.

He hurt him.

Legolas burst into tears, cursing himself for being so weak. No wonder Thranduil paid him no heed; he wouldn't want a son like himself either.

But then, like all of the other times Thranduil saved him from the destructive and dark thoughts that danced in his mind, the Elvenking's arms were around his shaking Prince. It was as if the cries of his child had finally snapped him out of his unfocused, bleary state.

"Hush, my little leaf," Thranduil soothed, his voice sweet and deep.

"Ada, I'm s-sorry," Legolas repeated, hiding his face against Theanduil's chest in shame. 

"I know," he acknowledged, pressing his dry, cracked lips against Legolas' forehead briefly. "And I forgive, ion-nin. I'll always forgive you, my love."

Legolas let out a held-back sob at the familiar words. They echoed of the sweet happiness and tender love he felt the day Thranduil carried him back from the hot springs. 

"Shh...shh.. Stop your cries, my child," Thranduil implored once more, stroking his son's golden hair with a frail hand. 

"Oh Ada," Legolas sighed, his violent sobbing nearly dying down, but tears still made their way down his pale cheeks. "Why can't you be angered with me?"

At Thranduil's silence, he looked up tearfully, catching his father's pale blue eyes. "Why can't you scream at me, and cast me out as I deserve? Why can't you shake me until I see stars and throw me into the dungeons like the lowliest of creatures?"

He paused, watching tears well up in his father's eyes. "Why can't you hit me, and hurt me the way I have hurt you?"

"I can," Thranduil replied, voice low and filled with sadness. "But I will not. Never would I hurt you, or lay a hand on you without the intention of making you feel loved."

"Why?" the Prince asked, pained at his father's love. 

It only made him feel infinitely worse. 

Legolas shuddered as his father pulled him tightly against him. "Don't you know you are my life? Why would I abuse you so?"

Legolas bit his lip, looking down and sniffling. He was once again dry. All of his tears were gone. And just after he thought it couldn't get any worse, Thranduil said something, so gentle and simple and sweet, that broke his heart for the millionth time that day.

"Thank you for coming back to me, my treasure."

"Even if I bring all of this heartache and hardship to you?" Legolas wondered out loud.

Thranduil nodded, kissing the top of his head. "Now rest, my love." 

'I'll never let you go again, Ada,' Legolas thought, snuggling further into his father's embrace. 'I promise.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos if you haven't done so! Reviews really help me out! Let me know how you think this is!!!
> 
> Please!!! REVIEWS!!!
> 
> ....thank you :) ❤️


	6. The Poets Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little while to write... But it's longer!
> 
> ....Have fun.

"Ada, you must eat," Legolas sighed, holding the spoon in front of Thranduil's tightly sealed mouth.

"No, 'Las," he mumbled, rolling over tiredly. "If I consume more, I fear I will feel worse."

"You only ate a small strawberry!" the Prince protested. 

In truth, Thranduil's behavior over the last 2 days was scaring him. Galion was right; his father wouldn't eat. Legolas thought that the fact that Thranduil began sleeping more should soothe his worried fëa, but it only made him more fearful. 

What if his body was preparing to shut down completely?

Legolas set the bowl of fruit down on the small table nearby and scooted closer to Thranduil, lifting the Elvenking's arm and tucking himself into his side. 

"Adar," Legolas sighed, resting a hand on Thranduil's bare chest, save the bandages. "You need to regain your strength. It'll only be possible if you nourish your body with nutrients."

"I am fine, Legolas." 

'No, no, you're not,' the Prince thought ruefully before smiling half-heartedly. "Besides, who will rule the great house of Oropher and Mirkwood if you're not here?"

Thranduil smiled, looking down at his son's face and touching his nose against Legolas' cheek.

"You, of course," he murmured, nuzzling the young boy's flesh. 

"Ada," Legolas sighed, cupping Thranduil's face and pushing him back to look at him. "You know I am too reckless, too wild to run a kingdom."

"Well, you'll have to learn," the Elvenking noted quite seriously, relaxing again against his large pillow.

"No," Legolas shook his head, grabbing the bowl of fruit from the stand. "You will live to rule, Ada."

Thranduil watched, feeling a slight tinge of melancholy bleed into his soul as Legolas quietly picked out one of the small fruits to feed the Elvenking.

"Come, eat."

The Elvenking reluctantly took the berry from Legolas, staring at it for a moment and praying to Valar that it didn't leave him heaving in a bowl, before taking a small bite, feeling scrutinized under Legolas' intense gaze. 

How the Prince wished to help his father recover!

Legolas never wanted for anything more than his father's health to be restored.

But how?

Who in Middle Earth could restore something as great in measure as a life?

********

"You're not getting better," Legolas said one night as they stared at the sky. 

"Ever wonder where the stars went?" Thranduil asked instead of responding to his son's statement, head resting against his son's shoulder.

They were laying in the fields, the cool grass pressed under them. The castle was still nearby, but they were mostly alone, besides the occasional servant coming to check on them.

Legolas bit his lip. There were, indeed, stars twinkling in the sky, and the fact that his father couldn't see them worried him even more.

"You're not getting better," Legolas repeated, holding his father tighter.

"It's only been a week, my little leaf. It only gets worse before it gets better, does it not?"

"A week in my presence," Legolas protested. "You've been sick for so much longer."

"Yes--"

"Ada, it's almost been a fortnight," the Prince stated, fear clawing at his heart when he remembered Elrond's words:

'I fear that he will not live throughout the fortnight.'

"Do not be so worried, 'Las," Thranduil tried to soothe the younger Elf, but the latter shook him off, ordering a nearby servant to bring his father into his room.

No, Legolas would not let Thranduil go.

Not again.

********

"I don't want to sleep, Legolas murmured, lying next to the living skeleton that was Thranduil. 

He looked at Thranduil, heart clenching when he saw his eyes close. "Ada!"

"Mhm, 'm awake," Thranduil yawned, opening his eyes just halfway. It broke Legolas' heart; they both hadn't slept for nearly two weeks, and the Elvenking was obviously so tired. 

"We can't sleep," Legolas said, voice sounding pitchy and hysterical in his own ears.

"Just need to rest my eyes...."

"Ada, don't," Legolas pleaded more than commanded, his hands shaking as he stroked the pale skin of Thranduil's face.

"Remember that time in the hot springs, ion-nin?" Thranduil suddenly asked, voice soft.

"When I hurt you? Yes."

"How about the time in the gardens?"

"When you chased me for hours?"

"How about our time spent in-?"

"Stop that," Legolas whispered, taking a hold of his father's face and gazing deeply and desperately into his eyes. "No more memories, Ada."

After a pause, Thranduil asked, "Remember when you took your first steps?"

Legolas gulped, releasing one of his hands from his father's face and taking a hold of Thranduil's hand.

"Do you remember how proud I was of you?" He trailed off, eyelids starting to fall close once more.

"Stop," Legolas said, shaking his father when he closed his eyes. The Elvenking woke with a start, his pale skin looking gray in the darkness of the room. 

"Ada, I don't want to go to sleep," Legolas shuddered, leaning down and holding his father tightly, as if he could tie him down to the earth.

"If that is what you wish, my love," he sighed, gently threading his hands in his son's hair, and fighting the urge to fall into sleep's sweet embrace.

*****

"I'm tired," Legolas whispered, still tangled with his father in bed. He didn't know how long they'd been laying there. Hours... Maybe days.

At that point, all Legolas wanted to do was curl up against his father's chest and fall asleep, then wake up to a healthy and beautiful Thranduil, ready to hold his son tightly with all the strength in the world and kiss him with boundless love once more.

"Go to sleep then."

"I don't want to."

Thranduil, granted, looked a little better. Although his cheeks were still hallow and he was as slim as ever, his eyes sparkled, clear, wide, soft, and kind.

Legolas startled when Thranduil brushed his thumb over the palm of his hand, their fingers still entwined, for a painfully long amount of time now.

"Sleep."

Legolas' walls crumbled. All of them… every single little brick and stone falling into a heap of dust of past-regrets and bearing the most tender and vulnerable core in front of his father's very eyes.

“Close your eyes….” Legolas shook his head with a frown and he had to gulp three times to keep the lump in his throat down before it crawled up to spill from his mouth and eyes.

“Please, ion-nin… please, close your eyes.”

“I don’t want to sleep, Ada. I don’t want to wake up and-and-“ The Elvenking hushed him and once more smiled. He looked so much better than hours ago… so much more alive… maybe he was getting better after all… Maybe Thranduil had found strength within himself.  
Maybe everything would be okay again.

After nearly thirty minutes of feeling Thranduil’s thumb brush in the palm of his hand, and listening to his soft breathing and seeing that his eyes remained awake and his smile maintained its liveliness and genuineness rather than the sadness that under-toned the Prince's, he finally shut his eyes.

The last words Legolas heard before exhaustion caught up to him were: "I love you, my soul. Ada loves you."

And Legolas knew.

****

Opening his eyes, the Prince smiled, the sun's rays streaming in from the openings in the room.

Feeling his energy once again restored, he buried himself as physically close as he could to his father.

"Good morning, Ada."

When no response came, his heart stopped.

He looked up at his father, starting to unconsciously shake when he realized that Thranduil's chest was no longer rising and falling, his skin no longer warm, his heart's beats paused, just like Legolas' was.

The Prince simply stared at his father for a long, silent moment. He swallowed the large lump in his throat, taking Thranduil's hand and bringing in up to his lips.

Quietly, he laid beside Thranduil once more, wrapping his arm around the unmoving body. 

"Rest, Ada, then come back to me, alright?" Legolas whispered, just wishing and pretending things were normal as tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. "Come back to me like I did to you."

'No,' he told himself. 'He is not dead.'

And that was what he believed; just like he believed there weren't tears streaming down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...that happened.
> 
> Please leave a review and kudos if you liked it! They turn my day into something magnificent!


	7. But I Die Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This can't be pretty....
> 
> Consider yourself warned.

"And, thus, their journey had come to an end. And the Fellowship, though eternally bound by love and friendship, was also ended ."

Legolas sighed, a small smile on his lips. He dropped another kiss on Thranduil's head, the subject of his affections wrapped in his arms and leaning against his body.

"I hope the story wasn't too bad, Ada."

Silence.

"Ada, please wake up soon. I miss you."

*******

Thranduil blinked his eyes open, vision bleary.

Once the clouds lifted, he saw Elrond standing over him with a small albeit sad smile.

"Hello, my friend," the half-Elf greeted, stepping back to let the King breathe for a moment.

He lifted himself up slowly on his elbows, rubbing his eyes for a minute.

Fully registering Lord Elrond's presence, Thranduil inquired, "You're in the Halls of Mandos as well?" 

He hesitated, glancing down for a second. "No. You are in Mirkwood still."

Thranduil narrowed his eyes, confusion and a strange sense of fear filling him as he prepared to order the half-Elf to cease his poor jokes before something shifted beside him.

Looking down, he saw his son, laying beside him. He looked peaceful, angelic, his long eyelashes fluttering slightly in his slumber.

The sight of Legolas calmed Thranduil's raging nerves, and he laid a hand on the Prince's shoulder, not noticing Elrond left the room as he shook the young Elf gently.

Legolas' eyes opened halfway after a slight struggle, the crystal blue orbs tired. 

"Iôn-nín?" The Elvenking called, running the tips of his fingers down his fair cheek.

Legolas stared, bewildered for a minute before joy bled into his eyes. "Ada...oh Ada, you're alive!"

Thranduil smiled but it quickly faded when Legolas tried to sit himself up. He lifted himself for a moment, his limbs shaking before they gave out and he fell back down with a soft gasp. 

"Lle tyava quel? (Do you feel well?)" he asked, trying to hide his worry (and failing) as he laid a hand on Legolas' forehead.

"Just..." Legolas paused, closing his eyes to shield himself from his father's questioning ones. "A little weak."

Silently, he observed his frail, wan child who seemed to have trouble opening his eyes.

When the Prince completed the seemingly impossible task, he smiled weakly at his father.

Thranduil's heart dropped into his stomach.

"Legolas..." the Elvenking said softly, hoping against hope that it wasn't true. "My little love, you didn't...."

Legolas tilted his head slightly, inquisitively, although he knew fully well of what his father was asking.

Thranduil licked his suddenly dry lips, mentally preparing himself. "You haven't taken part in any sort of Elvish medicines, have you?"

Thranduil didn't need any sort of spoken confirmation to break his heart. The Prince's silence was more than enough.

His eyes filled with tears, he whispered, "Why?"

Legolas smiled good-humoredly but feebly. "I had to pay you back for being a good parent somehow, didn't I?"

"Do not jest like that!" Thranduil commanded, voice suddenly strong and raising in distress with every word. "Legolas, how could you?!?"

"I had to, Ada," he replied, eyes falling closed. He was immediately shaken awake by a desolated Thranduil. "Had to..."

"No, you didn't, you fool!" the Elvenking cried, his emotions tangled and running loose out of his control, something that never happened and scared him even more. "How could you throw your life away like this?!"

"I did it for you, Adar," Legolas said, softly and tearfully. He knew that his father was simply upset by the revelation, but it didn't help soothe his pain. 

"What by Valar made you do something so stupid and foolish?!?"

"Ada!" Legolas cried, capturing the Elvenking's attention. "It has already been done! I expected you to be upset but I didn't plan on spending my last moments on Middle Earth being screamed at!"

Thranduil stared at him, visibly shaking and tears of anguish and heartache streaming down his face.

"I remember you told me to never offer my life for the strength spell, because I know you think that no life is equal to mine but..." Legolas paused, swallowing, and, trying to use the rest of his waning strength, continued, "you had died, Ada. Left me completely: I had a taste of what it was to be alone. And it was bitter and sour. For days, I sat by your side, recounting tales and speaking to you as if you were alive. When they almost took you away to bury you...."

Legolas inhaled sharply, shaking as he felt the pain he had that day. "I went to Lord Elrond. I needed you back.. He tried to stop me, change my mind about using the spell to bring you back, made me think about it overnight but I already knew. Your life was the sweetest and dearest thing to me, even if I wouldn't be part of it."

Legolas reached up a hand, something that seemed impossible to do with the little strength he had left, and touched his crying father's face gently. "If there was one life that I could trade mine for, it is yours."

After a long, silent pause hung in the air, Thranduil was suddenly clinging onto his only child with a vice grip, sobbing:

"No, no, no.. Not you... Not you again."

Legolas gulped, eyes welling with burning liquid. "Ada, don't---"

"No!" Thranduil cried, arms tightening around the lithe body. "I won't let you leave me again!"

"I have to," Legolas responded unsteadily. "The gift of life isn't free."

"Do you not understand?" Thranduil cried, pulling back to look into his eyes. "You cannot forsake me as she did!"

"Naneth did not leave you out of her own free will, Ada," the Prince attempted to soothe the suffering Elvenking, trying to ignore the desire to sleep.

"I have seen too much suffering, thousands of my people slaughtered, blood spilled in countless wars, my father's death, then my wife's! I will not live to see my own child go before me!"

"No Ada," Legolas said, encircling the Elvenking's body with his arms and holding him as firmly as he could. He was becoming tired. "You cannot think like that."

"To have my child claimed by darkness," Thranduil sobbed at the thought, "will be the most cruel thing for me to bear."

At Legolas' silence, the Elvenking looked at him, shaking the young, close-eyed Elf violently.

"Ada," Legolas mumbled tiredly. "Ada, please. I'm so tired."

"No," Thranduil shook his head, lip trembling as he held the Elf tightly. "No, just stay awake for me, yes?"

"Can't.."

"'Las, please be a good boy," he begged desperately, shaking the Prince again. "Obey Ada."

"I can't," Legolas sobbed, frustrated and exhausted.

"You have to."

A long, quiet pause.

"Farewell, Ada."

"No!"

"Ada," Legolas whispered, framing the Elvenking's slender face with his hands and gazing into his eyes with all of the love he could. "Listen to me, will you?"

And, as mangled and broken as he was, he still had no power to deny his child anything. Against his will, his traitorous lips whispered out a "Yes."

"Ada, my sweet, beloved Ada," Legolas sighed, dim, blue eyes falling close as he pressed their foreheads together. "You wouldn't let my sacrifice go to waste, now will you?"

"'Iôn-nín...." Thranduil uttered shakily.

"You promise not to, right?" Legolas asked, smoothing the back of his hand down Thranduil's cheek. "Promise to live for me?"

"I cannot--" he started tearfully.

"You can," the Prince protested. "Ada, you can. Just try."

"But--"

"Just rule for a few more years. You know the time for the dominion of men is soon coming. The tales of great Elvenkings will pass into legend, legend to myth, myth to nothing more than fairy stories. You don't even have to pretend to be happy. Naneth, your father, and I will be waiting for you, ready to mend your heart and help you find the peace of heart and mind you deserve."

Legolas turned as Thranduil moved to lay beside his son.

"Promise?" he asked, voice slurring as he began to fall into sleep's embrace. The Elvenking pulled him against his body and pressed his lips against the younger's temple. "Promise to live for me?"

Thranduil nodded, tears rolling down his face, a soft word of promise escaping into the air between them.

"Thank you," Legolas said, voice relieved and relaxed.

The atmosphere was silent, full of sadness and dread of what was to come. Only a few short minutes later, a soft voice was speaking once more.

"Nana is calling me, Ada."

Thranduil swallowed, unable to find words.

"I have to go wait for you on the other side now."

"Very well," the Elvenking breathed, feeling as if his heart was bleeding. "Go to her, my beautiful love."

"Just..." Legolas faltered.

"Yes?" Thranduil inquired, ready to run halfway across the Earth if that was his son's last wish.

"Just one small kiss," he implored, seeming shy and almost ashamed by his request. "Please. Like when I was an Elfling."

Thranduil's heart pounded with anguish.

"Of course," he replied, hesitating for a split moment, before pressing a sweet, chaste kiss to the corner of Legolas' mouth.

For the few seconds his lips were pressed to Legolas, his heart beat with a fierce and natural love, a deep connection he had never felt before. 

The unbearable pain returned when he pulled away. 

Legolas smiled, eyes closed. "Thank you, Ada. Love you."

"I love you as well. Now sleep, my little leaf," Thranduil sat up and pulled the smaller one into his lap, rocking them gently back and forth. 

The Prince nodded. "Goodnight, Ada."

Thranduil never knew how hard it would be to say that one phrase he had uttered to the young Elf many times.

He never knew how hard it would be to let go of someone you loved with all of your heart.

It hurt.

It hurt unbelievably much.

"Goodnight," he replied shakily. "Goodnight, my love, my life."

Legolas died that day.

And inside, Thranduil did as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..what'd you think?
> 
> Overkill?
> 
> Please tell me how it was, and leave kudos if you have not already!
> 
> And you always know how much I love comments (especially long ones [hint hint])!
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!
> 
> Be sure to look out for my next works in the near future!


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